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thumb|right|320px|Video lesson on what the internet is for, original song from the musical Avenue Q The Internet is a location with the following properties:
- Anyone claiming to be exactly 18 is, in fact, under 18. They just don't feel comfortable lying too outrageously. This is not to say, of course, that everybody under 18 lies to be exactly 18. Indeed, most of them are smart enough to lie to be older than 18, as opposed to being exactly 18.
- Anyone claiming to be exactly 13 is, in fact, under 13. Everything else said about 18 in the previous bullet point applies similarly here.
- No girls exist.
- To be precise, 10% of the girls get harassed off the internet, and the other 90% pretend to be boys just to avoid the harassment. 90% of the people claiming to be "girls" on the internet are actually male for a variety of reasons. Thus for all intents and purposes girls don't really exist on the internet.
- Everybody is always right (except self-appointed martyrs), and Everybody else is always wrong (except enemies of self-appointed martyrs).
As you can see, with all the lying going on, the Internet is indeed an evil place. Lying is bad. Therefore the Internet is bad. Get off the Internet. Go find your porn through more traditional avenues instead, don't use the Internet for porn.